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While writing my book I started to understand what happiness really means. The most important things for figuring this out, are finding my own inner happiness, and because I learnt a lot about psychology because of my writing. Now I can explain what it is. Now I see that there is a very simple explanation for being happy and that is: The absence of problems. Sounds simple, but that's all what it takes. But often it is difficult to achieve. Only when you experiencing / feeling something, you can understand it. Someone who has never swum, doesn’t understand that feeling. A child who lives in fear every day because it is abused at home, experiencing something that someone who doesn’t experience this , never understands. One can only imagine. The same for being happy. Only when you experience it, you know what it is. So again, I am really very happy and know exactly what it is. Would it even call it a fact. Digging into the personal problems and solving them, is the way to go. I didn’t do anything else. Now I have a kind of relaxed feeling all day. Problems is the same as stress. It also influences your physical health. My blood pressure for instance is still excellent. Will try to explain what being happy is. The normal natural state of mankind is relaxed, happy, positive and social thinking. Watch little children. Most of them are still in the state of being really happy. But because of several personal and environmental influences while growing up, they leave this state. Happiness is not one of the many mental states of humans like anger, sadness and other forms. It is the normal basic mental state and the others are mental abnormalities. Somehow something went wrong and because of that, most adults have left the happy natural basic. Would all the problems that causes these abnormalities disappear, then people would be happy by itself. Trying to be happy works only if you solve your problems. In others words it is not possible to be happy if you have major problems. Believe me, real happiness is very rare at adults. The ones who think they are happy, are most of the time experiencing only limited or temporary happiness. roblems prevent your real happiness. Think of it as an obstacle. Solve the problems and you’ll be happy without any further action. And there is no other way. Watch yourself. If you have a problem and it is solved, you feel a lot better. Just as if a burden has fallen off. You are one step closer to the true happiness. But after a while another problem starts bothering you and your temporary, but limited, happiness is over again. It goes something like this. A problem is bothering you. This will continue to haunt you no matter what you do. It may take a while overwhelmed by a larger problem, distractions can help temporarily, drugs or alcohol are also good problem hiders, but sooner or later it comes back. This can be personal doubts, financial problems, past abuses, relation problems, or whatever, or combinations of those. That’s the way brains work. A problem remains, regardless of what you are doing, until it is solved. You can stun it, avoid it or ignore, but it remains. Being happy is impossible because of your unsolved problems. Are you sitting comfortably somewhere, then ping, there is another problem that will disturb your peace. See it as a popup on the Internet. This is why some people are so busy and restless, because once they come to rest, the avoided problems rise and they feel miserable again and they don’t want that. This, and nothing else, is the reason of drug and alcohol abuse. They want peace in there minds, but can’t accomplish this without alcohol or drugs. The more extreme, the greater the problems. Only with these tranquilizers they can feel comfortable. An alcoholic has major mental problems. Believe me, real happiness, is a rarity in adults. Many think they are happy, and maybe they are occasionally, but most of the time it is not good. Only when you're really happy, you understand. Someone who is insecure for example, can’t be happy. Only when the confidence is restored, it is possible. If one solves a problem, it disappears. Do you have money again, then your financial problem thoughts will vanish. This applies to all problems. Solve them and it disappears by itself. But sooner or later the next problem will popup (which was “hiding” under it). Would you continue to solve the problems, then sooner or later you run out of problems. Sounds weird, but that’s the way it is. And it possible. Only then you can be really happy. Just watch your thoughts. You're almost constantly thinking of what is bothering you. Or you are trying to avoid the problem thoughts. There is no minute's silence. Within a few seconds you have a popup of a problem. Most cannot be thoughtless without drugs, alcohol or whatever. Problems controlling your life. This applies to almost everyone. Everybody thinks that the constant thinking is normal, but it is certainly
not. By writing my book I left this stage and my constant thinking no
longer exists. I have peace in the upper room. This is the same as happiness.
Of course thinking is necessary, because otherwise you can not exist,
but I do not have the personal problem thoughts anymore. They have left
the building permanently. You have no idea how good that feels. Happiness
is the absence of problems. It is nothing else. It is hiding under the
problems. Or see it as clouds.
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